Reflection

I am a mother before I am anything. I put that out there because my kids are my life. I have been a single mom for the last 20 years which has been a struggle; partly because I never graduated from high school and also because I had kids really young. But I have been blessed every day of my life, by our gracious father in heaven, Jesus Christ. It is in him where I get my strength. My journey to get here, started two years ago, when I enrolled myself in college classes. My goals were to attain my degree, and possibly end up with a good job; I will be graduating this coming winter. So here I am, in my third and last required English class; there is no doubt that this one was the most difficult one by far. I started this quarter pretty confident about my writing skills, but once I started to get feedback from Lolly and Andrea, I realized that I needed to review the fundamentals again. Having my handbook, as well as help from Lolly and Andrea, saved my butt on more than one occasion. I would have to say that our essay assignments were the most challenging part of this class.

     My first essay assignment on Identity was not my best work. Right off the bat I struggled with the thesis concept; as a result of this, I didn’t successfully write a paper that included arguments to support my thesis. The good news is that I was able to strengthen my writing skills enormously; this was shown later, by a better written paper and grade, on essay number two on communities. This particular essay was difficult initially, because the concept of community had to be explained in a literal term; eventually I was able to gain a clearer understanding of what this meant. A timed writing essay followed in the “intermission unit”; here we were assigned to watch a film, discuss it, watch it again, and then show our understanding of two relative concepts, identity and community in 60 minutes or less. The next assigned essay in the “tradition unit” was less of a challenge for me, as far as bringing together a strong paper. I probably enjoyed writing this paper more than any of the other papers because I felt passionate about the concept. The essay assignments were only a part of each week’s tasks; there were also discussion boards, reading assignments, and our paper talk groups.

     Our discussion board assignments were a major part of our work this quarter; they allowed us to write more openly about issues, without the structure of an essay. This is a place where people were encouraged to share their views, and there were no wrong or right opinions. The hardest part for me was accepting views other than my own, when involving personal issues like race or social class. Often, I had to remind myself about the need for an open mind. These forums also gave us an opportunity to show how we can challenge another student’s opinion, but still remain objective. There was one discussion board assignment that had us delving into the "insiders versus outsiders" aspect of communities and evoked a small amount controversy; our class was a large and diverse group of people, so it seemed likely that there would be some hurt feelings. I also felt that there was narrow minded thinking present here, but nothing overly contentious. Again, we were all learning together.

      This was also the case in “paper talk”, a place where groups met to discuss there struggles or concerns with their essay assignments. It was here that my eyes were open to some ugly stuff that goes on in the world, when I chose “Rabbit Proof Fence” for the movie assignment.  Rabbit Proof Fence was an amazing example of what the human spirit is capable of, but it also showed us how expendable people can become if the majority doesn't see them serving a specific purpose in their world. The discussion board and paper talk both allowed us to find out more about each other; I took advantage of this opportunity and got to know a few of my classmates better. All of the work assigned to us this quarter, involved a specific methodology, which relied on students to use the resources given to successfully and collectively complete each unit.

    Finally, building my e-portfolio was a really fun but challenging task, and I have spent many hours choosing what writing pieces to use, as well as the background and templates. I chose to use my blog assignment on tradition, as my writer’s choice piece. I feel that my heart went into writing this blog because it brought back happy memories of my family, and our heritage. What makes this piece stand out is my ability to keep the reader interested. Next, my revision piece wound up being my first essay assignment on identity. This was a paper that I originally thought was good work, but I found out later it sucked. So I tried to redeem myself and change most of the paper. I changed the organization in some paragraphs, and worked on developing stronger transitional sentences. I think I did an alright job. The paper that best reflected me as a voice and the reader as an audience, was my discussion board post on identity. This assignment gave me an opportunity to use my personal opinions to defend my heritage; so it seemed logical to use this paper as my “Voice” piece. Next I needed to find a paper that I had put some real thought into; a paper that reflected my ability to analyze and examine a subject in great detail in order to fully understand it. A discussion board post of mine from the identify unit was a good example of my perception and use of these concepts, when I did a comparison of two authors and their work; so naturally I used this paper as my critical thinking piece.

     My last contribution to the e-portfolio is this letter of reflection. All and all, I feel that English 101 was an invaluable experience that has greatly enriched my personal and scholastic life. I learned about my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I pushed through hard times when I did not see a solution anywhere near, and I showed myself that I am capable of really great things. I could not have done any of this without the help of Andrea, Lolly, or my fellow students; for this, I thank you all.
Please enjoy!

Introduction: Writer's Choice

I chose this piece as my “Writers Choice”, because I feel it was the strongest piece I have written this quarter. I had my share of writers block the last 4 weeks, as I know many did, but I never seem to struggle when approaching an assignment that allows me to write freely and from the heart. Even if a student’s paper does not involve complex analysis, it can still reflect the writer’s ability to make sentences appealing and easy to follow, which I feel that I have improved immensely at, since the start of the quarter. I also think that a good writer shows some of their personality through the way they communicate on paper. Part of my personality that naturally ends up in my assignments, usually blogs, is my sense of humor; this sentence from one of my blogs called, “Celebration of Love” shows a little of this: “Menudo means “often” in Spanish, but I think I am probably fine just having it only once a year.”

I like to make people smile in real life, and I am hoping to do the same when they read a paper that I have written.

Susan's Choice

Celebration of Love

            I am Mexican, and so a lot of the things that we do in our family, is traditional, especially when it comes to mealtime; the way that the food is prepared, the ingredients, or the love put into it, it’s all passed on from generation to generation.  I never once saw my father eat a meal without a jalapeño; that was his thing. And although my grandma is no longer here anymore, I can say that she is always in our hearts when we enjoy her recipes.

            There are the usual holidays where my family gets together and has a meal, such as Christmas or Thanksgiving, but there are also two other occasions where we actually prepare a meal together as a special tradition, and than enjoy it as a celebration of our heritage.  One is when we make Menudo and the other is when we make Tamales, the latter is a more timely process and involves a lot of manpower. Both meals can be eaten any time of the day, but usually the whole day is spent together preparing and/or catching up.

            Menudo is a definitely an acquired taste, and usually not a fan favorite for outsiders. Some people actually cringe when they are told they are eating the stomach of a pig, specifically the intestines. But if you are able to get past the heart of this dish, you will enjoy the rest of this flavorful “soup.” Menudo means “often” in Spanish, but I think I am probably fine just having it only once a year.

            The other dish we make together is Tamales. I could probably go on for hours about why I love them, but I will give my number one reason- they are delicious! Tamales are made by taking seasoned meat, than rolling the mixture in cornmeal, and wrapping in corn husks. And then after they are steamed. Making tamales always takes a full day of preparation. Usually Mom makes the meat, my dad mixes the masa (cornmeal) and than us kids (plus significant others, and our kids) spread the masa onto the corn husks.

            I would have to say hands down, that making tamales is the one meal tradition that we all look forward to the most. We usually make around 6 dozen, so that there is plenty. They are just an amazing food that I have to yet to find anything that compares. I can’t help but wonder though, would they taste as good without all the love that was into them? Our family may live and breathe American culture everyday, respectively, but we are bound by our Mexican traditions that remind us of who we are and where came from.

Introduction: A Voice

I chose this paper to show my awareness of using “our class” as my audience, and also to show that I have a voice, an opinion, and a passion for issues dear to my heart. I wanted to express in this post the disappointment I feel of how Mexican Americans like me are so misunderstood, even in this day and age. I feel like I was able to get my message across, plus challenge Gloria Anzaldua’s one sided expressions of how speaking a certain form of Spanish is a detriment to my heritage. One example I used is when I told of family visits to see relatives in Texas, who spoke a more traditional form of Spanish, and how this never made a negative impact on our communication. I pretty much knew my audience here was predominately of the Anglo decent; this only gave me more reason to be as open and as honest as I could, in the hopes of being understood to the fullest extent possible.  I think my post came across as refreshing to people, which was reflected in the supportive replies that I received. Discussion board forums are the perfect place for someone to test the waters of opinion, and to exhibit openness to other people’s feedback as well.

A Voice: Can You Hear Me?

A different perspective on Chicano Spanish    

I remember being very young when I first heard the term Chicano; a reference to U.S. citizens of Mexican descent. It was never anything I identified with, because as far as I was concerned I was an American; to be anything in else would have made my life even more complicated. It was bad enough that I grew up Mexican in an all white town. So, I was happy to find and grasp a common ground with my peers (for the sake of fitting in) we were all born here in America. But for my parents, who were born in Los Angeles and Texas, and who are self proclaimed Chicanos, I challenge statements made by Gloria Anzaldua. The first, “Chicano Spanish is considered by the purist and by most Latinos to be deficient, mutilation of Spanish.” My parents call this statement absurd, or absurdo. For the last 20 years my family made many trips to visit family members in Texas and California. This was always for me a trip filled with culture and tradition. I was able to get a glimpse into the past of my parents, as well as their own parents who were born in Mexico.  On these visits my parents were forced to use their Chicano Spanish to communicate with family members who still used old “authentic” Spanish; their first language. Never did they feel as if they were looked down upon or ridiculed for the way they spoke. Here in Washington, they met families who came here from Mexico, and who spoke true blue authentic Spanish and there was never any sort of language barrier or embarrassment, everybody was always happy to just share this unique bond of being Mexican. "Chicano Spanish sprang out of the Chicano’s need to identify ourselves as a distinct people.” Again, my parents do not see things the same way. For them, it was a blending to many cultures, including Mexicans from Mexico or Mexicans from here or …..Because they and others were forced to make English their first language, sometimes words became a mixture of Spanish and English. To my parents it was more of a “younger version” of their parents’ spoken language. I am in no way trying to disrespect Gloria Anzaldua, nor am I attempting to take away from what she wrote or felt; I am only offering a different perspective. My parents did agree on one statement of Anzalduas, “Chicanos who grew up speaking Chicano Spanish have internalized the belief that we speak poor Spanish.” Yes, they wish that they could remember the language they both spoke as small children, a more traditional version, but they are never regretful or bitter about the wonderful life they have been blessed with.

Anzaldua, Gloria. “How to tame a wild tongue” Remix Ed. Catherine G. Latterell. 2nd  ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010.  Print.

Introduction: Revision Piece

I chose to use the unit one essay assignment as my revision piece. This assignment required students to write an essay about what identity means and how it is formed. I felt that my first essay piece was not written well, and drifted off into a metaphoric nightmare; for example a partial sentence from the first paragraph, "Whether the scenery is blue skies and sunshine, or black clouds and rain...." I deleted this sentence and others like it, replacing them with more critically thought out sentences such as "Self awareness is the most likely force behind whether or not we choose to conform or break these molds" in it's place. Here is where I began a learning process, which is still ongoing, and is making me a better writer as we speak. I learned what a thesis was for the first time, and how imperative it is to an essay; for example placement, and whether or not it is arguable. I can go on and on about what I have learned, but I hope to instead show, in the revision of my original essay. I changed the organization in some paragraphs, and worked on developing stronger transitional sentences. I omitted page three, per the directions for the required length, and the “works sited page” was left in, to show how I learned to site sources correctly. The original essay precedes the revision, written in black.The revision follows, written in italic brown colored text.

My Revision Piece

Original

Susan Garza

Professors Smith and Wells-Edwards
English& 101D OL1

11, March 2011

Identity is formed through Learning to Accept, Tolerate and Understand the People around Us

     On the big map of life, there is a place called self identity; as we grow older we can see the paths that we have taken, or for some the future paths, to get there. Where we came from, where we’ve been, and even where we’re going, is a life-long journey filled with short-cuts, detours, and pit-stops, which often determine where we end up. Although, it is the people that we meet along the way, who ultimately influence us the most; some give good directions, others not so much. But together, good bad or indifferent, we learn about ourselves and about others. Whether the scenery is blue skies and sunshine, or black clouds and rain, we can get through it, and find that place of self identity or who we are, through learning to accept, tolerate, and understand the world around us. But let’s not forget, this can be a lifelong process.

     Who we are today is not the same person we were when we were five or twelve, or even seventeen. Throughout different stages of our lives, we mature and evolve. As children, we were highly impressionable; the relationships we saw around us, our parents, grandparents, or friends influenced what we viewed as successful, in our future relationships. And success isn’t always defined by societal expectations; in the essay “Baba and Daddy Gus” (372), bell hooks told how her grandparents had influenced her on many levels. The love that she felt is shown here, when she expresses what they both meant to her, “You want everyone to know them as you did, to love them as you did” (372). And “He (Daddy Gus) gave me the unconditioned love I longed for” (372).  It wasn’t just the love that inspired hooks, it was also the acceptance her grandparents had for each other; her grandfather was quiet and non confrontational, her grandmother outspoken and aggressive. Bell saw mutual respect, as the key, to the success of their relationship, even at a young age.

     As we mature, and get to the pre-teen years, our need for acceptance sometimes becomes a matter of survival.  In Emily White’s “The secret life” (15), “tribes” are discussed, and how they closely relate to, or resemble cliques; how fitting into one, can distinguish how others perceive us. This can be in a positive light if you belonged to the “in crowd” like students at Calhoun High, who White describes here, “Virtually all the popular kids are physically well proportioned. They dress overwhelmingly in the ubiquitous trendy brand, Abercrombie & Fitch (16), “They sport the logo on t-shirts, pants, bags and baseball caps” (16). “Their conformity is remarkable, in haircuts, necklaces, and the way they slouch” (16).The acceptance that each clique member experienced here was central to belonging, even if through a shared identity. Now if you were not popular, or associated with any particular tribe or clique, you might be considered “an outcast” (16).

     In Masks, author Lucy Grealy experienced the sadness of being labeled one; her face deformed from cancer. This intensified her longing for acceptance, which in turn, drove her to try and lose herself behind masks; told here, “I hadn’t realized just how meek I’d become, how self conscious I was about my face until now that it was obscured” (67). Grealy’s sense of self worth had become prisoner to the cruel words of her peers. It was their lack of acceptance that haunted her. Grealy was even questioning whether she deserved a fundamental right to live, or be loved, shown here when she says, “I wanted nothing to do with the world of love. I thought wanting love was a weakness to be overcome. And besides, I thought to myself, the world of love wanted nothing to do with me” (69). It was almost as she had given up on mankind. When we are not accepted, sometimes inadvertently, we learn tolerance.

     Being labeled an outsider; can be devastating; and tolerance is needed on all sides. Whether we were the tormented or the tormenters in school, it is always a losing situation. Our self image is delicate, and can be damaged so easily with words; Grealy shared that pain with us first hand. She tolerated and survived an unbelievable amount of adversity throughout her whole lifetime. To be tolerant, is a necessary attribute for anybody when accepting the hand that life has dealt us. When Grealy did this, she rebuked self pity. In a cruel twist, she ended up finding out that being noticed for something positive, like being called a role model, was not as fulfilling as she imagined it to be; “Here I was, the center of attention, receiving the praise and appreciation I’d been fantasying about for so many years, and all I could feel was intense searing embarrassment” (69). Contrary to what Grealy thought, others did see something good in her that she was not able to see herself, and the people around her were more understanding of her situation than what was thought too. In Grealy’s case, acceptance and understanding had to start within. Sometimes we have to fight for it.

     Queen Latifah shows this better than anybody in her essay, “Who you calling a bitch?” (33). Latifah makes no excuses for her need to be heard and understood. As a matter of fact she demands it. The battles that Latifah faced growing up in the intercity, dealing with the discrimination of being female and black, and the stereotypes associated with all these issues, were monumental at times. But she never lost sight of who she was. “I know who I am” (36), Latifah expresses, “I am confident” (36). She doesn’t stop there at ground level, she steps it up; “I am a child of a God, I am a Queen” (34). Latifah has a clear understanding of who she is, and of her journey she traveled to get here. She defines who she is, with great conviction. A similar conviction is expressed in the words of Donald Trump; like Latifah, Trump is going to succeed, no ands, ifs, or buts. His quest will be driven with no one else at the wheel but himself. In his essay titled, “Find the greatness within yourself“(242), he is promoting the belief that it is up to you and you only. If we are sitting there waiting for success to happen, he has a bit of advice for all of us; “if you are happy in your comfort zone you need to move out of it” (242). The message is simple; we are in charge of our own destiny. Trump recognizes the importance of learning to understand ourselves and what we are capable of. Clarity can be one step closer to finding ourselves.

     The sometimes difficult trek across the vast tundra of life in our search for self identity is a trip that sometimes feels like it will never end. But if we learn to more accepting, tolerant and understanding of other people, as well as ourselves, the road can be a lesson in life; whether we feel that we have reached our destination, or that it has just begun, there is always room to grow and change with every new path we take.

References:

Remix, reading and composing culture, Catherine G. Latterell 2010

Baba and Daddy Gus, bell hooks

Masks, Lucy Grealy

The secret life, Emily White

Who you calling a bitch? Queen Latifah
Revised
Susan Garza

Professors Smith and Wells-Edwards
English& 101D OL1

11, March 2011

          Identity is not an easy concept to define. The term can be literally interpreted such, as by a list of characteristics by which a person is definitively recognizable. Or we can use it to describe a deeper connotation of who we are on the inside. There are specific times throughout our lives which influenced who we are today more than others. And there are so many factors involved, but more so, so many people who were significant in the molding of our personalities. Self awareness is the most likely force behind whether or not we choose to conform or break these molds. There are no handbooks to teach us what to do, nor are there schedules telling us when we are supposed arrive to a point in life where we should have it all figured out; if that place even exists. Understanding and acceptance of others is crucial, in forming a strong sense of identity.  This is a process that will happen in stages as we mature and evolve over time.

          When we were very young, we were highly impressionable; the relationships around us; our parents, grandparents, or friends influenced what we viewed as successful, in our future relationships. Although success isn’t always defined by societal expectations; in the essay “Baba and Daddy Gus” (372), bell hooks told how her own grandparents influenced her on many levels and she shares with the reader what they meant to her growing up, “You want everyone to know them as you did, to love them as you did” (372). Hooks also had a great respect for her grandparents; even though they didn’t always see eye to eye, as they aged, they had a mutual acceptance of one another. Acceptance is a concept that we learn as we mature and grow, and unfortunately it's through the trials we face growing up, that we sometimes learn the hard way.

     When we have reached our pre-teen years, our need for acceptance almost becomes a matter of survival.  In Emily White’s “The secret life” (15), tribes are discussed, and how they closely relate to, or resemble cliques; how fitting into one, can distinguish how others perceive us. This can be in a positive light if you belonged to the “in crowd” like students at Calhoun High, who White describes here, “Virtually all the popular kids are physically well proportioned. They dress overwhelmingly in the ubiquitous trendy brand, Abercrombie & Fitch (16), “They sport the logo on t-shirts, pants, bags and baseball caps” (16). “Their conformity is remarkable, in haircuts, necklaces, and the way they slouch” (16).The acceptance at this school was central to belonging, even if through a shared identity. But if you were not popular, or associated with a particular tribe or clique, you could be considered “an outcast” (16).

     In “Masks”, author Lucy Grealy experienced what it’s like to be one; her face deformed from cancer. This intensified her longing for acceptance, which in turn (the rest of this paragraph is deleted to meet required length)

     Queen Latifah shows this better than anybody in her essay, “Who you calling a bitch?” (33). Latifah makes no excuse for her need to be heard and understood. As a matter of fact she demands it. The battles that Latifah faced growing up in the intercity, dealing with the discrimination of being female and black, and the stereotypes associated with all these issues, were monumental at times. But she never lost sight of who she was. “I know who I am” (36), Latifah expresses.  “I am a child of a God, I am a Queen” (34). Latifah has a clear understanding of who she is, and of her journey she traveled to get here. She defines who she is with great conviction. In the essay, “Find the greatness within yourself“(242), Donald Trump expresses a similar sentiment of how it is up to us, to make good things happen for ourselves. And if people are sitting there waiting for success to happen, he has a bit of advice, “If you are happy in your comfort zone you need to move out of it” (242). The message is simple; we are in charge of our own destiny. Trump recognizes the importance of learning to understand ourselves and know what we are capable of. A little bit of clarity can help us gain a stronger sense of who we are.

     A place of self awareness may take a lifetime to achieve. It could be that we just need to lower expectations of ourselves and being happy with who we are today, to reach our destination. Or maybe we just might spend the rest of our lives trying to get there. Regardless, when we finally learn to accept and understand the people around us, we will find who we are.

Works Cited

Grealy, Lucy.  "Masks."  Remix Ed. Catherine G. Latterell.

2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010.  Print. 66-71

hooks, bell. “Baba and Daddy Gus”  Remix Ed. Catherine G. Latterell. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010.  Print. 372-77

Queen, Latifa. “Who you calling a bitch?” Remix Ed. Catherine G.  Latterell. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010.  Print. 33-36.

Trump, Donald. “Find the greatness within yourself“Remix Ed. Catherine G.  Latterell. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010.  Print. 242.

White, Emily. “The secret life” Remix Ed. Catherine G.  Latterell. 2nd ed. Boston: Bedford / St. Martin's, 2010.  Print. 250-56.